Herman the Hero

playing around with the idea of illustrating a children's book my mum-in-law wrote called Herman the Hero.  it is about a kind hearted goose :)

this is a watercolor i did of a picture i got off the internet.  just practice.  i wish illustration were that easy!  it's harder than you think.

"that spring Herman and Harriet raised their own little brood of goslings.  Herman, though, was never too busy to watch out for the welfare of all the goslings including those of the wild geese."

notes to myself, two

"let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this not to put a stumblingblock or a cause to fall in our brother's way." romans 14

tree outside my window

7"x10" acrylic on panel

cloudy ceiling

my most faithful patron had me paint clouds on the ceiling of her little boy's room last week.

they are painted to look as if you are literally beneath them, looking up at them.

the little boy's grandmum gave me blackberries and lemon balm while i painted.    

   

notes to myself, because i need all the help i can get.

"owe no one anything except to love one another...love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.  and do this [love one another], knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed." 

-romans 13:8, 10-11

never noticed that these two verses (10 and 11) were so linked before.  it's pretty clear what paul is trying to say.

p.s., ian's scanner is my new favorite toy :D

gospel reverie

hilarious

this guy is hilarious.  

here's his website: http://www.marcjohns.com/

i love the bread.

flickr

this painting is from a series i did called "wait."  this particular painting, though, actually does not exist...ah the glories of photoshop.  i turned a brown painting blue....sheesh.

well kids, i'm not too smart about internet stuff, but when someone wrote me an email asking if they could view my art portfolio online (and they asked if i had a flickr account), a light bloomed over my head.  flickr is a genius place for a "portfolio."

so if you wanna look, or direct future patrons to samples of my shtuff, go to flickr and look for me under cas.andersen (notice the dot.)  flickr is still new and weird to me...so as far as i know, this is the best way to find me: http://www.flickr.com/photos/cas_andersen/

i'm in flickr though as cas.andersen.

i'm working on starting up an etsy thing too...but that'll take more time.

and now, for something completely different, a quote from robin's blog:

"A whistling girl and a cackling hen will never come to a good end." 

pantomime

i have six ideas

and seven You can choose

what does it mean to You?

it means to Me a length of 

cloud fought light.

a drowned, penciled depth

and nothing left to fill.

and nothing left to understand

like this.

stillborn flush-

no further let,

no further calm to seek.

only pantomimes yet to 

numb limb.

trumpets and tribes describe.

I need you sit still

longer and longer,

farther and farther.

throes uncurled to joy,

in joy

you will know

by nearness.

slapdash #10: find the sky

hands strong
with love and wandering
always
taking in, tasting, smelling,
kneading.
to explore and to memorize so constant,
you failed to notice you were picking
the tear in my jeans.

i'm not alive like you.
i dont desire to smell something
i've already smelled
or already judged.
i do not see newness
in old
like you.
i do not see others in new
like you.

you are science and art.
you are brother yet father.
you are zeal yet control:
they call it meekness.

you are a man of war
weeping to red and raw.

you break me and build me.
both by love.  both by paradigm.

i cannot describe you out loud-
not for not knowing,
but the words swell a world
caught in my breathing-
i cannot do both.

innate, rising visions demand
to be satisfied
by sky.
clamoring, pleading,
since the fourth of july.
"i must rise.  this is all i know."

you say, "i am yours,"
and i know it is costly.
i say, "i am yours.
our hands will find the sky."

slapdash #9: henry scott holland

i have this devotional called "joy and strength" that i think was written in the very early 1900's.  i totally love it.  no one "tells it like it is" like the believers of the 1800's.

here's todays:

"put on therefore, a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving each other, if any man have a complaint against any; even as the Lord forgave you, so also do ye." - colossians 3:12, 13

the discord is within, which jars

so sadly in life's song;

'tis we, not they who are in fault,

when others seem so wrong.

-frederick wm. faber

"self-preoccupation, self-broodings, self-interest, self-love- these are the reasons why you go jarring against your fellows.  turn your eyes off yourself; look up and out!  there are men, your brothers, and women, your sisters; they have needs that you can aid.  listen for their confidences; keep your heart wide open to their calls, and your hands alert for their service.  learn to give and not to take; to drown your own hungry wants in the happiness of lending yourself to fulfill the interests of those nearest or dearest.  look up and out, from this narrow, cabined self of yours, and you will jar no longer; you will fret no more, you will provoke no more; but you will, to your  own glad surprise, find the secret of "the meekness and gentleness of Jesus;" and the fruits of the spirit will bud and blossom from out of your life." -henry scott holland

slapdash #8: ian's little birdie story

hey kids-


ians here to tell us a lovely story today!  listen up listen up!  :)  i now pass the computer to the redhead sitting next to me of whom i speak:


This morning I was feeling burdened after working a 56 hour work week, feeling distracted from the important things, wondering if I was being led down the wrong path by simply trying to "be responsible".  I had gone for an early morning swim and sat in the sauna afterwards sweating and speaking with the Lord fretting that I would become like so many middle aged men who are married, work hard and no one hears from again.  Men who were once on fire for the Lord but fade away, not from the Lord per se but from bearing fruit.  I was beginning to worry that I would fall to the way side and that the Lord would let me.

I left the Y and began to walk across the park back to my apartment and 3 crows began to crow at me and they started taking turns dive bombing me.  They harassed me as I had never heard of crows harassing a human.  They were not guarding a nest but were merely out to harass me and I felt the Lord speak to me that the crows were sent as a warning that the enemy was after me and that I needed stop listening to him.  The birds of the air are always after the life giving seed of the gospel.  They hate it and seek to gobble it up lest the beautiful fruit of the Lord should spring up.  I prayed to the Lord to help me and told Him that I trusted Him to protect me from the enemy.  As soon as prayed the crows became silent and perched back in their tree.  A small bird then hopped up on the grass next to me cocked his head and gave me a look.  The Lord then reminded me that he keeps track of even the little sparrow and knows when one falls from the tree.  If He cares so much for this little bird how much more must He care for me.  As I walked up the front drive to my apartment small song birds swirled in the air before me singing sweet songs and I knew that the Lord was with me.

The enemy should never be allowed to perch upon our shoulders and whisper into our ears.  he is a wicked scavenger only able to steel and harass.  It is much better to flit through the air and sing knowing that the Lord loves us.

slapdash #7: the pleasure of God

I have been reading luke 12 for forever.  there's nothing like the words of Jesus, seriously.

it starts out warm and fuzzy..."fear not: you are of more value than many sparrows..."

and ends a little disconcerting: "...and that servant...shall be beaten with many stripes..."

at first i'm overwhelmed by stark encouragement and stark warning.  how can i ever measure up?  especially if i still struggle living out the encouragement part...i cant do the easiest thing, how can i ever do the hard stuff?

but remember, this is Grace Himself we are talking to.  i realize that Jesus wants us to have His thoughts- His perspective on the daily action of living- His definition of success.

so, in going for the big picture, i made a list as i went through the chapter asking myself, "what is Jesus' definition of doing a good job at this life.  what is He listing as something that brings Him pleasure?  what does Jesus define as success?"  these statements are only my own words, but maybe their summarization can work to our benefit.  its interesting, some of the ideas totally repeat themselves.  Jesus is an excellent teacher :)

GOD IS PLEASED WHEN I:

1-3: am real and genuine...when i take being real and genuine with God and man seriously.
4-5: fear God as the only one i am accountable to/answer to
6-7: dont live afraid because i know i am higly valued by Him
8-9: tell others about Him
10-12: give Him my tongue as His tool, and my heart rests peacefully on Him
15: am aware of the temptation/danger of covetousness.  He is pleased when i dont live my life based on the amount of stuff i have- it is an indicator that my treasure rests elsewhere
21: am "rich toward God."  he is pleased when He Himself is what my heart values.
22: dont worry about life or the body- realizing their proper place (ie, not priority in my heart)
24: know HOW He sees me- that i am valued by Him, that i matter to Him, because He knows it will affect how i live
26: choose trust over worry and anxiousness
27: when i look around and see His faithfulness in everything
28: have BIG faith
29: trust Him to the point of not having an anxious mind
31: seek His kingdom
32: realize that He very much wants to give us what we seek.  to know that the "kingdom" is ours and therefore not to fear
33-34: give up the temporal in exchange for the eternal.  when my heart's treasure is in Him
35-37: wait for Him/watch for Him expectantly.  he pronounces a blessing for those who are ready for Him
40: READY for Him to come
42-48: say in my heart as His servant, "my master comes at any moment.  i will preserve the man and  maidservants around me like a good steward.  i will be sober and aware."

there's so much love in this chapter...hear o israel...you shall LOVE Me...

o, how He wants us to LOVE Him, and to know truly that we are loved by Him.

slapdash #6: velveteen

this is a quote from the short story "the velveteen rabbit:" that made me cry:




"Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that
happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just
to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'

Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit.

Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you
are Real you don't mind being hurt.'

Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by
bit?'

It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It
takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who
break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.
Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved
off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very
shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real
you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
— Margery Williams Bianco (The Velveteen Rabbit)

oui.

i'm so late at posting this, but as you can probably imagine there has been some busy-ness...

a little over a month ago a red haired boy (that i adore very much) knelt in the snow and asked me to marry him.  he was so nervous he grabbed the wrong hand for the ring.  he was so overcome he did not speak for a pause of tender weeping.  he was so clever that he had hidden the wooden ring box in an old tree trunk.  he made me laugh as he said, after we started shaking because of the cold and adrenaline, "maybe we should go in before we have to amputate."

he gave me these pictures a couple weeks ago-

this is ian making my ring in his dad's shop.  he said he picked the best ruby in his dad's case.  he read me a verse from proverbs 31 to go with it (holy crap what did i do to deserve such an amazing man.)

the finished ring.  based off art nouveau designs...only one of its kind.

i mean, what do you even say to this?

"come enjoy this lonely sky with me"

oui.

slapdash #5: enemies

if i dropped my bible on the ground and it opened up, it would probably land on psalm 27.  dried hydrangea flowers and some small yellow leaves line the spine where this psalm is.  it is a place i prefer to frequent.

there is a secret this psalm leans in to whisper every time i read it-

notice the theme-

"when the wicked came against me to eat up my flesh...they stumbled and fell..."

"though an army may encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war may rise against me, in this i will be cofident."

"for in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion..."

"and now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me."

the secret is this: you can't live your life to AVOID enemies.  but you CAN live your life avoiding their tyranny (or rule- their power over you).

battles demand plans.  enemies demand answers.  the onlookers demand placating (these become more punishing than battles and enemies put together...what will my parents say...my friends...the people at work).  we must "plan," then, to let God take care of it.  not to work our escape by some contrived stratagem on our part, but to cast the lot of our survival with God.

this is an important distinction for me, because the human part of my mind assesses God's love for me based on my perceived opinion of how many struggles and enemies i have: the less struggle i encounter, the more favored i am by God.  but God proves His love for us by saving us from and through and despite the very things we count as our enemies.  they actually speak louder of the presence of His love than  lack of struggle would.

jesus said, before His journey to conquer the enemy that is our death, "in the world you SHALL have tribulation, but be of GOOD CHEER, I have OVERCOME the world."

enemies are there.  will always be there.  i need to not let them surprise me anymore, and rather surprise THEM in their war against me, that i have already resigned my fate to the strong fortress of His hand.  a life lived thus cannot be quenched or stopped- it's joy cannot be shamed.  it's battle already won and decided.

commune (the talking type)

this post is dedicated to stacy who, in her sweetness, reminded me this morning that she likes to share the journey

a couple years ago i wrote the word "Commune" (as in "to converse or talk together, usually with profound intensity/intimacy," not "a group of persons living and sharing together...") and drew a box around it.  i probably wrote it inspired by simplicity.  inspired by the realization that when it comes down to it, God just wants to be with us: God just wants US.  us with Him.  to commune.  all the other pulls and draws and victories and failures stop their mouths and the air gets a lot stiller-a lot more meaningful and palatable...it starts to smell like eden again.

and over my egg and spinach tacos with corn tortillas, new zealand grass fed cheese and ground flax working together to make a formidable lunch...while my mind was somewhere else being pulled and pulling, the word "Commune"...the first word i always forget...came up from behind and blew the stench from this stale room of tasks and stuff and paying rent and being way too busy.

because the Lord makes the air redolent with himself like a jasmine flower-

He must, because by definition, He is the most beautiful.  it cannot be hid: it must be recognized.

and i remembered, now that what i was breathing was replaced with real air, that nothing else matters except that: connecting with God.  Being with.  Being.  not doing.  not freaking out about doing or not doing.  not getting bitter at the less desirable.

just being simple about it.
keep your head, cas.
dont panic, whatever you do.

i must breathe fresh air to live.
i must breathe outside this stuffy room to be awake.
its true: life is not in tasks.
and just because they surround you does not mean you will be overcome.

king david knew it:
"though an army may encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war may rise against me, in this i will be confident."

"the secret of the Lord is with them that fear Him: He will show them his covenant."

i also learned from this picture that my Bible was printed in Belgium. :)  fun huh?

true story

we saw her before we even came in the door-

throwing her whole buxom body into each stroke against the inside windows of the pierside cafe.

"just sit anywhere that's clean," she said proudly as we came in the door.

"we have two drink specials this morning: margaritas and bloody marys."

pause

"we also have coffee."

slapdash #4: grace garland

i have noticed time dripping down my face recently, leaving little line trails by my eyes. it might be the weather drying my skin out or whatever, but i see a changing face.

i rather enjoy the changes. my plump adolescent face never proved the beauty it should have at 20 anyway. the skin clings to the bone a little more, more at home. bone, meet skin, skin bone: "how do you do?"

as far as i'm concerned, it feels good to grow into my face. the body hurries excitedly along, pushing borders, thirsting God, creasing skin. it is only the fool who thinks the best is behind and the purpose mute. it is only the fool who longs for immaturity and a baby fatted face because somehow innocence once rested there. the best innocence i have found is grasped for yet, and stands our victor's garland after all has ceased its thirsting.

the best innocence is a gift that no youth ever earned.

viva la.

this entire excerpt is from josh garrels' blog.

i am inspired:

"it's better to have a little and be content, than to have amassed stock piles of ill gotten gain, this is what wise king solomon once said. yes, we're the small ones, and we're moving somewhere beneath the worlds power and influence. relatively undetected. within random rooms and forgettable cities we work quietly, using what resources are within reason, pushing and exploring the parameters of our less than perfect instruments and surroundings...and thoughts. we're hoping to handcraft something, anything, that has integrity and purpose, even if its made from another mans trash. 'those who are full loath the taste of honey, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet.' we're living within a gridlocked structure, a system that is loathsome and full, that refuses to feed its inhabitants with anything of substance. and now, we little ones are hungry, and we're digging through the trash heaps and roaming the forgotten woods; searching, stalking, and slowly banding together to survive on the bitter roots and bread crusts we happen to find and share. we are joyful and content with what we've been given, as we sit around the fire sharing our stories, pictures, and songs that bare a reflection of the lives we've chosen to live. with love, and respect for one another we'll find the meaning and purpose embedded in life once again. for the answers the psycho-systematic spokesmen have sung to us have been as empty as our stomachs, and we're tired of chewing on that meatless bone. the devil cannot feed us true food because he is the little god of emptiness, the god of what is not. but there's manna from heaven, free and fulfilling, for all who have been led out of slavery."