December 27, 2008

5 stage E ticket ride

well kids, it looks like i really will be going back to chico next semester.  i had so much faith in the possibility of moving away for good that i threw away everything i didnt need/could buy again/wasnt that cool anyway and made every item i own fit into the back of my pickup (it still ended up dribbling into the cab, but what's a girl to do?)

i have officially attempted every possible escape from the Vanilla city and find myself still standing at the same amount of brick wall that i first began clawing at.  the pile of dust soiling my shoes may not seem like worthy fruit for such efforts, ah, but in it the resignation lies.  when one has done all that can be done, there is merely left the arranging of one's hair and the settling down of nerves to await what cannot be held back from arriving.  maybe it would even be called "rest."

in Him it surely is.  

thats why we have our coffee every morning, our wine at night: to herald in regal glory the coy faithfulness of a world spinning out of our control, carrying us on it's back, rising and falling heedless to our wishes.  rising and falling careful towards His.   

please pass the sugar,
my how nice the scenery is.

He must be taking us somewhere fine.

denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance:
now that the 5 stages are done, lets move on, shalst we.


chassafrass said...

yay for cas!
three cheers for the spy lurking always just beneath the surface
hey.......what if you were one of the spies that went to Israel and said....oh gosh, look at these gigantic people....we'll never make it
and now you're Caleb who says "let us go up at once and take possession, for we are well able to overcome it."
hooray for cas....through our Lord you will do valiantly!

Anonymous said... are amazing. This is why you blog and I just read blogs. You inspire me my what the Lord is doing in your life..and by the way you write about it! You should write a movie fact...maybe that is why you are in Chico? ;)

Anonymous said...

that was "anonymously" jen