July 13, 2008

hell and high water

i was thinking about my parents on my run the other day (i am training for a half marathon...eep)

both were runners before they met- perhaps the only thing they ever had in common

dad did cross country and mom did track.  i can still remember seeing my dad run on the beach when i was a kid...he kinda looked like an ostrich because of his long legs, but thats beside the point (its kinda funny though :)  

but their experiences were different as runners.  dad ran because he could.  because he was strong.  because it was one more way to repress stress and guilt...his favorite addictions.

but mum ran...i dont know why she ran.  i dont know because she said it hurt her.  there was smog in riverside even back then and she had asthma.  she would run five miles with her lungs burning the whole way and her body cramping, but she would do it anyway.

that crazy woman would run anyway.

and she carried on like that for years until kids and husband came.  and when they came, running took the form of responsibility and surviving.  i watched her survive the gnarliest things

and that crazy woman kept going anyway

not because of her strength but inspite of it  
it was that utter defiance that i was thinking of on my run
is it insanity or principle?
probably both
she probably never thought twice about it.  you run because you need to finish.  there is no other option.

i wish i had half the fight in me that she does

"for all they did cast in of their abundance, but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living." mark 12:44

hannah said it for all of us in 1 sam 2:
"i smile at my enemies
because i rejoice in Your salvation."

1 comment:

Celia said...

Oh! to be able to run again. I know that when my number is called I then will run again for there will be so much to see. I do miss running with the sun on my back and the wind in my hair. Now that I older I do run a different race now. It is all about finishing and not the placement of which I finish but how I ran the race and who ran with me. So you go girl for I am righ beside you at all times. Love Mum